Wow. Things have been....wow.

My place to live fell through after I had been here a week.  I had no money.  I was homeless for a few hours there, and someone who is basically a stranger let me move in with them, and fortunately, he's turned out to be trustworthy.  It's taken me this long (five weeks) to start making regular secure income again and get internet access.  In that time I've learned some things.

I love it here.  I love the lack of humidity, the mountains, the endless variety of restaurants.   :)  I've started to be able to get around without 100% relying on the GPS and there are some people I'm tentatively calling new friends.  Most of my preconceived notions about L.A. have been blown to smithereens.  Most.  Rent is ridiculous, and there are a lot of drugs here, but the roads and traffic aren't that bad and the people aren't all self-absorbed jerks.

I had a celebrity encounter in Hollywood.  Tony Bennett and his entourage walked by me on the sidewalk on their way to People magazine's Grammy party.  It was a surreal moment.  That night I also saw one of the guys from Glee doing a signing and I think I saw David Faustino walking very fast and looking like he didn't want to be bothered.  :)  Also saw someone who looked a lot like Lara Flynn Boyle but might've just been some other stunningly hot lady.  I heard that two of the guys from True Blood have visited the coffee place where I currently work.  I'm glad in a way that I wasn't there to humiliate myself.

I haven't even tried or considered doing any acting, going to auditions and such.  Been too focused on the bare bones survival things (like internet access!) but maybe soon I'll get my ass to Burbank and register at Central Casting.  A coworker is affiliated with a small local theatre so I may audition there sometime if they're doing a musical I care for.

What I have been spending some focus on is the law of attraction.  (Reading/writing are cheap.)  Also there's the all-encompassing crush I have on a coworker.  :)  I'm looking forward to summer - tired of being cold, although I love it that I can wear hoodies here a lot.  I'm still not entirely out of the woods, but things are looking up.  Stay tuned.

This is it. Tomorrow I leave for L.A.

I'm scared.  I wanted this for so long, and yet...  (Naturally, I went on an amazing first date with someone two days ago.  My timing = so good.)

I'm dragging my feet.  I'm turning to salt, like Lot's wife, looking back at my home.  Looking back at the sweet faces I'm leaving behind, the memories, the bright spots.  God this is hard.

I don't know if I have what it takes.  I'm so scared.  It's so far.  But this is the point of no return, and I have no choice now but to try my best.  Alone.

Oh hey, here's an example of me. :)

I did this months ago and have lost weight since then. Man it is rough to watch myself in this video...I feel huge, and I didn't realize the dark circles under my eyes are so pronounced, and my hair looks dumb, and I had no idea they were going to use such energetic music or I would've changed my pace, delivery and all that. This was unscripted and unrehearsed, by the way. The guys directing were very nice. I did try their product but most of what I say in this video is lies. :) I mean acting! www.thedivorcepill.com

So I know one working actor in California. :)

Just found out a girl I was in a short film with moved to Malibu. We're not close friends by any means but it is nice to at least have one acquaintance in the business. I think she's only 15 or 16. We both played nameless angels. :)

Watched the second Sherlock Holmes movie tonight.

Felt a bevy of positive emotions as the credits rolled - pride, excitement, contentment, simple pleasure. I thought 'And that's why I'm moving to the undisputed movie-making capital of the world'. So I can be some part of it, contribute to the art that has most impacted my human experience. I laughed a lot tonight and boy did I need to. What a beautiful production it was.

Did gait-analysis at a running stuff store.

Forgot to mention this in previous post. I went jogging last night (for the first time in like, six months) and really enjoyed it. When I reach my next minor weight-loss goal, I'll buy myself some nice new running shoes - there are some really cool ones out now that weigh like, nothing and cradle your feet. Anywho, I went to this store with a gait-analysis set up (a treadmill, a video camera and a salesperson) and they watched me run for a minute and then told me my running style is pretty good, and I should get neutral shoes. Go do some research if you wish to know all the ways you could be running wrong - it bores me and I'm just glad I was already doing it right and don't need to change. They recommended some shoes but didn't push and it was a nice time. I was relieved, when watching the video of me running, that it was only from the knee down so I didn't have to watch my butt jiggle. My calves looked pretty awesome. :)

Hit one of my weight-loss goals. :)

I know if I want to get steady work it will benefit me to be wafer-thin, so I'm dieting of course, and exercizing a bit. I set a modest goal about a week ago. I says to myself, I says 'If I just get under 150 pounds before I leave the state, that will be a good start'. A few days of 1200 calories or less and voila, goal met. Today I weighed 148.6. So to my warped little mind, that means 48.6 pounds left to utter perfection. I'm going to try to lose a pound a week, so by Christmas maybe I will have reached this goal. Hopefully I will do this in a sane fashion and not cause all of my hair and teeth to fall out or something.

I am an old pro at dieting. At one point I lost 40 pounds. Started eating crap again and gained it back. But when I'm being good, my system works. I am uber motivated currently so expect there to be less of me. ;)